I'm Cleaning Out My Closet
by PrincessFlorea
Summary: Who knows what could be lurking in your closet this very minute... *Finished*
1. The Neighbor

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter One: The Neighbor_   
*** *** *** ***

"Man, that's a creepy lookin' house." Leorio said as he and Kurapica climbed out of the car after a date. "Which place is it again? Not that, is it?"   
Kurapica smiled, "No, it's the one over there."   
Leorio looked at the direction she was pointing, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Then it's all good. So who's living in the haunted house?"   
"The last owner moved out, and so far there's nobody."   
"I can see why." The door of the house opened and a red-haired man stepped outside to see what was going on. "Nobody, huh?" The door slammed as the man went inside. "Not too friendly either."   
"So?"   
"So what?"   
"So let's go inside. It's cold out here."   
They stood on the steps outside Kurapica's small home. "So you have to work tomorrow?" Kurapica asked.   
"Yeah, but we'll spend some more time together next week, okay?"   
"Agreed." Kurapica said a little reluctantly. "I know that your job as a doctor means a lot to you, but..."   
"We don't get to see each other that much anymore?"   
"Yeah." Suddenly, her eyes lit up. "Hey, in a few days, the school's having a health fair, and I was wondering if you could teach the kids some stuff?"   
"That'd be fun. I'll see if I can fit it in." Leorio checked his watch. "I'd better be going now." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Night."   
Kurapica went to bed, oblivious to the fact that two cold gray eyes were watching from the window.   
Just after turning off the light and laying down, she sat straight up. A high-pitched scream echoed through her head. It made the chills go down her spine. _Probably the Morrison's pets having one of their cat fights_, she thought, before drifting off to sleep. 

***

The next afternoon, Kurapica took some cookies that she'd baked over to the new neighbor's house. _Sort of like a housewarming thing_, she reckoned, _though it isn't much of a house..._   
Before she could knock, the door swung open. Yesterday's red-haired man was standing with a surprised look on his face. "Hi." Kurapica said, as cheerfully as possible. "I'm your neighbor, Kurapica. I brought you some...er...cookies. To welcome you in this place."   
"My name is Hisoka." The red-haired man said. "Thank you for the welcome and the cookies. I'm sure I will enjoy living here." He enunciated each word carefully, with no contractions. "Would you like a tour of this place? Maybe you could help me with some furnishings? I don't know much about that kind of thing."   
"Sure." Kurapica stepped inside. The inside was a bit dark, and the floorboards creaked when she walked across them. Hisoka led her through two bedrooms, a kitchen and dining room, and described everthing to her. Eventually, they came back to the hall, where she saw a closet. "What's in here?" Kurapica asked, reaching for the doorknob. Hisoka's hand stopped her from opening it.   
"Please, do not." He said, capturing her eyes with a steely gaze. "I tried that yesterday. A whole pile of junk fell out and buried me under there. I would not like the same thing to happen to a lovely lady like you."   
Kurapika blushed. "Well maybe we can do a bit of spring cleaning sometime."   
He didn't seem to get it. "It's winter right now."   
"Just my little joke." She said, feeling sort of stupid. "Well, nice meetin' ya. I have to leave now."   
Hisoka, the red-haired man, watched the blonde leave, a smirk playing on his lips. 

*** *** *** ***

**Kurapika-sama: **Yuck. Hisoka as a neighbor.   
**Princess F:** >. Kurapica is OOC. Very naive here. Ugh, took me about ten years to figure out what that meant...   
**Floraleon: ***with the radio* You mother—   
**Princess F: **Please don't call me that!   
**Floraleon:** —ker...   
**Princess F: **Well this chappie just gives you the basic stuff. Horror will come in later. Love is here.   
**Kurapika-sama: **Isn't that a CD?   
**Princess F:** _Ahem._ If I remember correctly, _I_ was talking. And there's gonna be a bit of airhead humor. AIRHEADS!!!   
**Kurapika-sama:** We've got one right here. Tsk, tsk, tsk. *ends with a dance to 'Hit me Baby One More Time'* 


	2. The School

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Two: The School_   
*** *** *** ***

Monday morning came, and found Kurapica sitting in a kindergarten classroom. That is, sitting in the classroom watching the kids play. "Miss Pika!" Little Shizuku called, "Look-y!" She held up a piece of paper, which was covered with multicolored stick figures. "It's you teaching the class."   
"Wow!" Kurapica said, feigning surprise.   
"It's for you. You're the bestest teacher in the whole wide world!"   
"Thanks." She said, tacking it up on the wall, where there were about a gazillion more. "I love it!"   
Shizuku went back to her table and continued coloring.   
A few minutes later, Killua came over, dragging Gon. "Oh, c'mon." He muttered. "'T's only a few minutes!"   
Gon immediately blushed. _Redder than Hisoka's head_, Kurapica thought grimly. Dismissing all thoughts about the nextdoor neighbor, she smiled, seeing why Gon had been so reluctant.   
He was all decked out in a pink wedding gown, of which he kept tripping over the hem. Killua had also decorated him with a few to many strands of beads. Adding some high heels and a very flashy hat, Gon was barely recognizable under all the getup. _He looks like a miniature version of Killua's mother, minus the sunglasses_.   
Killua finally was able to tow Gon beside Kurapica. Then he ran off. Gon opened his mouth to say something, then hurriedly shut it.   
"Yes, Gon?" Kurapica prompted. "Is there something you wanted to say?"   
Gon went down on one knee, blushing furiously. He held up a fake doughnut. "M-m-miss P-pika, w-would you b-b-be m-my b-bride? For today?"   
"Of course." Kurapica said, her eyes twinkling.   
Gon slipped her thumb through a hole in the plastic doughnut. "It's the only finger that it would stay on." He apologized. Then he scampered off, leaving a red high heel that seemed in no hurry to go anywhere. 

***

"What the hell is with the doughnut?" Machi asked, seeing the pastry on Kurapica's finger.   
"Gon proposed," Was the answer.   
"How many kids are ya gonna have?"   
"Shut up."   
"Just playin'. Girl, you should've seen our room. Papier-mâché everywhere. Walls, tables, kids, floor, chairs, windows... anywhere you could imagine. And you know how fast it can dry if you leave it there. I swear, some kind of fungus is going to move in and take one of the little gray mounds as his girlfriend. And then there'll be tons of little gray fuzzy things everywhere."   
Kurapica smiled. Senritsu joined them. "So, piñatas are messy, I told you, but you wouldn't listen," She said.   
Machi shrugged. "We had fun, anyway." 

***

The next three days passed quickly. Well, if you didn't count the fact that Ponzu brought a beehive for show-and-tell, and that the class went wild when a bee actually flew out.   
On Friday, Kurapica went shopping with Machi and Senritsu. Coincidentally, they passed Gon, Killua, and Gon's aunt Mito. "Hey, it's Gon's wife!" Killua sniggered. Kurapica blushed and turned around before a crowd could gather and Mito could ask what he meant. 

*** *** *** ***

**Princess Floréa:** That ending sucks.   
**Kurapika-sama:** I totally agree. *gets smacked by Princess Floréa*   
**Floraleon:** What's the point?   
**Princess Floréa: **To waste time. To get the week over with. Because Kurapica needs a job.   
**Kurapika-sama:** %   
**Princess Floréa:** That's sick.   
**Kurapika-sama:** Get nasty!   
**Floraleon:** You _are_ nasty.   
**Princess Floréa:** Oh, boy... (ask fairygurl for reasons why Princess F says this) 


	3. The Lonely Weekend

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Three: The Lonely Weekend_   
*** *** *** ***

Saturday afternoon. _Four-four_, Kurapica noted as she looked at the phone for the millionth time. Leorio had said he'd call today. She'd finished off three extremely long and boring novels. Switching on the radio, she heard the annoying voice of a DJ. She switched the dial.   
"I just can't help falling in love with you—"   
"—has been scientifically—"   
"—at Club Vogue—"   
"—beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—"   
"—'cause of you—"   
Kurapica sighed and settled back on the couch. It wasn't like Leorio to break a promise. Even if he'd had to work extra hours at the hospital because of emergencies, he certainly would've called. Shaking her head, Kurapica went back to reading. _His father, seeing his mutinous face had cried out at him..._

***

_ And at that he seized her hand between both of his._ Kurapica glanced at the clock, which hung over the fireplace mantel. Eight fourty-three?! She walked to the refrigerator and opened it. A bagel, and a little bit of ice cream.   
Kurapica indulged in fudge and caramel while finishing of the rest of the novel, which turned out to be very interesting.   
She ate the bagel for dessert and went to bed. 

*** *** *** ***

**Princess Floréa:** I'm sorry!!! I just can't write longer chapters...   
**Kurapika-sama:** You should be sorry.   
**Princess Floréa: **Why you... *chases Kurapika-sama around the room with an extremely large mallet*   
**Floraleon:** *sweatdrop* The lines "His father, seeing his mutinous face had cried out at him" and "And at that he seized her hand between both of his." are both from the book The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck. Quite good, if I do say so myself.   
**Princess Floréa: **You tell 'em! *resumes chasing Kurapika-sama*   
**Kurapika-sama:** Nyah, nyah, nyah! ITAI!!!   
**Princess Floréa: **You know, I really hate to the Authoress Powers.   
**Kurapika-sama:** Groovy, baby. *srikes a pose* Authoress Powers in Silvermember!!!   
**Floraleon: ***pulls the switch*   
**Voice:** Aww, man... Who turned off the lights?   
**Voice:** Shut up. Who off the TV?! I was watching Austin Powers!   
**Voice:** K-pika-sama, you should shut it! The computer turned off!!!   
**Voice:** Well then... ELEPHANT POTATO!!!   
[Two massive sweatdrops appear] 


	4. The Memories

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Four: The Memories_   
*** *** *** ***

Sunday evening, Kurapica wander down to the beach. Sitting down in the soft white sand, she watched the sunset.   
The rays of the fading star sparkled on the water and the cool waves washed over her toes. Kurapica smiled, remembering one of the walks by the sea... 

_ "What do you think of when you see the ocean sunsets?" Leorio asks._   
_ "I think of beautiful mermaids and rainbow colored fish swimming happily in the ocean," Kurapica answers. "What about you?"_   
_ Leorio smiles. "I like to imagine myself as one of those magical fishes, and that there's a mermaid princess with pearls in her hair leading me to a treasure."_

But that had been a year ago. The sun left the horizon and the clouds faded one by one, as she stretched out on the beach. How exactly had they met? 

_A blond kid walks through the classroom door. Short hair, red T-shirt, blue jeans, very typical for a first grader. All heads turn to stare at the stranger. "Now class," says the teacher, "don't stare; it's rude."_   
_ Some of them return to coloring, or whatever, but a few heads are frozen in place. The teacher tells the blonde where the backpacks go, and then walks over to an empty desk between a girl with long almost-white blond hair, and a dark haired boy._   
_ "Hi," The girl greets the newcomer. "My name is Senritsu. What's your's?"_   
_ "Kurapica," is the answer._   
_ As the blond kid sits down, the black-haired boy glances around, and hisses, "Are you a girl or guy?!"_   
_ Kurapica glares and hisses back, "Female, for God's sake."_   
_ The boy returns to scribbling on his desk. "Ignore him." Senritsu tells Kurapica. "That's Leo. Class jerk."_   
_ "Oh."_   
_ "I can show you around today."_   
_ "Okay!" Kurapica and Senritsu quickly become good friends._   
_ At recess, they are playing tag, when they see a purple-haired girl looking up into a tree. She is yelling something to it, and Kurapica and Senritsu inch closer the see what it is._   
_ "All right, you come down, or—" A soccer ball flies out of the tree, missing her by an inch, and hitting Kurapica on the forehead, instead. The girl runs over. "Are you all right?" Without an answer, she picks up the soccer ball and throws it into the tree. In a crash of green leaves, brown branches, and a black-and-white soccer ball, Leo comes tumbling down. "That'll teach ya to hog the ball!" The girl promptly marches away._   
_ Kurapica whispers to Senritsu, "Who's that? She's COOL!!!"_   
_ "Machi, from Ms. Mizuki's class."_   
_ Machi suddenly rushes back. "You okay?"_   
_ "Yes, I'm fine."_   
_ She squints at Kurapica. "You new here? Haven't seen ya around."_   
_ "I moved here during the weekend."_   
_ "Well then, you need to know everything about this place! Let's go find some non-jerks." Machi sticks out her tongue at the goofily-grinning-seemingly-unharmed Leo. Then she drags Kurapica away, with Senritsu in tow._

That was her first memory of Leorio and the start of her friendship with Machi and Senritsu. Kurapica sighed._Where was he?_

*** *** *** *** **_TITLE: Safe Drugs? Part I_**   
**_Note: You can try this at home. But finish reading the entire story first. That includes Part II._**   
**Princess Floréa: **Hope that was long enough.   
**Voice in the Bathroom:** Ehehehehe...   
**Floraleon: **o.O   
**Princess Floréa: **^-^ Kurapika-sama's high on pot.   
**Floraleon: **AND YOU LET HIM?!   
**Princess Floréa: **I'll explain later.   
**Doorbell: **Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.   
**Princess Floréa:** Ding dong.   
**Doorbell: **Ding dong.   
**Princess Floréa:** A little more oomph.   
**Doorbell: **DiNg dOnG.   
**Princess Floréa: **Good! *opens door*   
**fairygurl: **Hi.   
**Killua-sama: **Yo, where my home boy Kurapika-sama?   
**Princess Floréa: **High on pot.   
**Killua-sama: **Okay. *somehow manages to get into bathroom*   
[Splash can be heard] 

**~*TBC*~**


	5. The Depression

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Five: The Depression_   
*** *** *** ***

"Hey, wath wong, Mith Pika?" A spiky headed boy asked Kurapica, who was doodling at her desk. Gon, after losing his teeth that weekend, made it hard for anyone to unahthand(understand) him.   
"Nutin's wrong wit 'er." Said Gon's best friend, Killua. "Unless..." He snapped a crayon in half, "She gots in some fight wit 'er _boyfriend_?"   
"Miss Pika got a boyfriend?" Neon said incredulously. "Hey, Kuroro!"   
A black haired boy didn't look up from his picture book. Neon ran over and dragged him off the beanbag chair into the center off the room. Then she smacked him a good one on the lips. "Kuroro's _my _boyfriend."   
Instantly, the room was filled with whoops and cheers. Kuroro turned red, while Neon soaked up the attention like a sponge does water. Killua joined in with, "Neon an' Kuroro, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes..."   
Kurapica didn't even look up at the commotion. 

***

"So he hasn't called you back, you always get his answering machine, no one's at home, and the car's parked in the driveway? Sounds fishy to me." Senritsu said to Kurapica. They were on recess duty.   
"Yeah."   
At that point, Machi ran over, nearly out of breath. "MISS PIKA'S BASE!" She yelled to the kindergarteners that were following her. Immediately, they turned to select a different target.   
"What was that about?" Senritsu asked.   
"Tag... Damn... those kids have... determination." Machi puffed, leaning on Kurapica's shoulder.   
"I thought you were hiding candy or something." Kurapica said.   
"DAMN!!! _DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!_ DAMNDAMNDAMNDAMN, _DAMN!!!_" Someone yelled from behind Senritsu.   
"You know, you shouldn't curse on school grounds." She said to the purple-haired teacher.   
Machi looked sheepish. "So what were you talking about before I so _rudely_ interupted you?"   
"Leorio."   
"Kura-chan's boyfriend, right? What about him?"   
Senritsu quickly filled Machi in.   
"Hmm... If you ask me, he dumped you for another bitch. Probably hiding, 'cause he doesn't want you to find out."   
"Another bitch?" Kurapica laughed, "Are you saying that's what I am?"   
"For _a_ bitch then. I—"   
"BITCH!!! _BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!_ BITCHBITCHBITCHBITCH, _BITCH!!!_"   
"Better watch it, Mach." Senritsu warned, using Machi's nickname. Mach, because she was very quick.(AN: You know, Mach 1, Mach 2? They're speeds. Very fast.)   
"_Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay_... I get the picture. But you know a guy shouldn't dump a girl like Kurapica. If there is, something's wrong in his head. Maybe's he's busy at the hospital."   
"I've thought about that." Kurapica said. "But then he would've called, or something."   
"Maybe the phones went dead?" Senritsu suggested.   
"I don't think so."   
"Whatever it is, we'll help you all the way." Machi patted Kurapica on the head. "After all, we're friends, right?" 

*** *** *** *** **Safe Drugs**

**fairygurl:** Strange ending.   
**Princess Floréa: **^-^   
**Floraleon: **WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON IN THAT F*CKING BATHROOM?!   
**Voices in Bathroom: ***splash* WATER BALLOON FIGHT!!!   
**Floraleon: **o.O   
**Princess Floréa:** They were high on pot... *kicks bathroom door down*   
**Kurapika-sama and Killua-sama: ***splashing around in toilet**throwing water ballons at each other*   
**Floraleon:** ...   
**Princess Floréa:** WHEN I SAID YOU COULD STAND ON THE TOILET, I NEVER SAID IN IT!!!   
**Floraleon: **?   
**Kurapika-sama: **Sama doll that stands on toilet is high on pot! *gets hit by water balloon*   
**fairygurl:** Those are... those are CONDOMS!!!   
**Princess Floréa: **?   
**Kurapika-sama: **They're building condominiums in the other neighborhood, so I went over and got some!   
**Princess Floréa and Floraleon: **...   
**Killua-sama: **She was a prostitute, he was a gay. What more can I say?   
**fairygurl: **Moral of story: Sama doll that stands on toilet is high on pot. If Sama-doll is high, haul ass out of the bathroom! 

**Note: **A certain bus driver joke, a condom joke, and a proverb, leads to bathroom "humor." I souldn't be writing this... Anyways, tell me if ya liked it or not. 


	6. The Next Weekend

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Six: The Next Weekend_   
*** *** *** ***

The second weekend had arrived, and Leorio still hadn't called. Kurapica was really beginning to worry. At two to one, the phone rang. With a swelling bubble of joy in her heart, she went to answer it. She tripped over a tile in the kitchen. Muttering about getting it fixed sometime, Kurapica grabbed the receiver. "Hello?"   
The bubble popped. It was Machi, wondering it she wanted to go to the movies that night. Kurapica had finally been persuaded, because, as Machi had said, it wasn't healthy to be shut up in a house, moping around. 

***

That evening, the three friends met in front of the Ècarlate. The movie, which Machi had picked, (of course) was a horror movie: _The Forgotten Thirteen_. Kurapica and Senritsu screamed almost everytime. Machi didn't (of course). 

_And they assembled. The Thirteen Souls who were left on Earth, to wreak havoc and frighten the human race. Adele, Christian, Ellen, Gregorio, Ian, Kaylin, Mikey, Opal, Quinn, Stephen, Ursula, Will, and Yvette. All had died on October, Friday the Thirteenth, in the year 2000. On this night, their souls remained on Earth. They were the Forgotten Thirteen. Born on the Thirteenth, died on the Thirteenth, at the age of thirteen. They were hosted in Adele's mansion, where they had been. On the hill, overlooking the City of Superstitions, Trevilleize._   
_ One night, on Halloween, a group of four friends, Fleur, Luke, Raini, and Xavier came to that very mansion, on a dare._   
_ "Oh, come on! Their gang's got spies everywhere!" Fleur said, as she dragged Luke along the steep, rocky path._   
_ "I don't wanna go in that haunted place." Luke whined. "I'm too young to die!"_   
_ "Shaddup, besides, do you want your mom and dad to know that we TP'd the school and flooded the bathrooms?"_   
_ "That was fun." Raini giggled. "Xavi looked quite fine with toilet paper stuck to his face and water dripping down his pants, as Brenda said."_   
_ "FINE?! THAT HOE CALLED ME FINE?!" Xavier yelled, his face turning red in the dark._   
_ "Brenda isn't a hoe. She's a garden rake." Fleur bonked Xavier with the flashlight. "And shut up."_   
_ Luke whimpered._

_ Entering the deserted_ _mansion, Fleur shouted, "Anybody home?"_   
_ "Shh!!!" Luke put his finger in front of his lips. "No one's here—"_   
_ "Is that so?"_   
_ "—so let's go home." Luke started for the door. He froze. "Who said that?"_   
_ "You, dummy." Raini said._   
_ "No, in the middle of my sentence. Someone spoke." Luke jiggled the doorknob. "We're locked in!"_   
_ "Oh, boy." Xavier sank down to floor. "Just great. The flashlight went out too."_   
_ "Who disturbs the sleep of the Forgotten Thirteen?"_   
_ "Shut up, Raini."_   
_ "I swear, Fleur, it's not me!"_   
_ "Then who?"_   
_ "Luke?"_   
_ Luke whimpered again._   
_ "Xavier?"_   
_ "No."_   
_ "It's me, mistress of the manor, Adele."_   
_ "Who's Adele?"_   
_ "A penguin."_   
_ "No, that's Adelie."_   
_ "SHUT UP!!!"_   
_ The chandelier on the ceiling lit up. The four could see the faint shape of a girl. Adele. "Ian?"_   
_ An image of a boy, sporting big glasses stepped into the hall. Pushing the glasses back on his nose, he addressed the four. "To be properly taken to the Afterworld, the Forgotten Thirteen must enlist the help of three their age."_   
_ "Three?" Adele arched an eyebrow._   
_ "Four makes it fairly complicated."_   
_ "Go on then."_   
_ "To determine the three, the Weighing must take place." At these words, a red haired ghost rushed in with a complicated instrument._   
_ Adele took it, and waved it at each one of the living beings. The tool made a few whirring sounds, and a dial pointed to Fleur. "Fleur will be taken."_   
_ "No!" Raini and Luke cried._   
_ With a scream, Fleur fell through the floor. A crashing, voices and more shrieks could be heard from down below._   
_ As if not noticing, Ian continued. "The three will, in their own way, must, send the Forgotten Thirteen to the Afterworld by midnight. If they fail, they will live an immortal, cursed life."_   
_ "It is now thirty minutes to midnight." Adele said. "These are the Thirteen: Ian and I are two. Here are the others:"_   
_ The red headed boy. "Christian"_   
_ A girl in a wheelchair. "Ellen"_   
_ A Spanish boy with a scar on his cheek. "Gregorio"_   
_ A seemingly friendly Asian girl. "Kaylin"_   
_ An androgynous teen. "Mikey"_   
_ A blonde with waist-length hair. "Opal"_   
_ A skinny kid with a shaved head. "Quinn"_   
_ A boy in a jersey, casually dribbling a basketball. "Stephen"_   
_ A pudgy girl. "Ursula"_   
_ An African-American boy. "Will"_   
_ A brunette dressed in black. "Yvette."_   
_ Adele glowered at the three. "We are the Forgotten Thirteen."_

***   
_[Time lapse]_   
***

"Heck, I'm gonna have nightmares for the rest of the year," Senritsu muttered.   
"What happened to Fleur?" Kurapica wondered.   
"She died." Machi said matter-or-factly.   
"I didn't like that part where they drove someone's head through a fork. That was weird and gross."   
"Gross? That was cool! I should try that sometime..." 

*** *** *** ***

**Princess Floréa:** Ah...sorry...I was too lazy to write the rest of the movie.   
**Kurapika-sama: **Thirteen ghosts on the dead man's chest! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!   
**Floraleon:** ... 


	7. The Dream

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Seven: The Dream_   
*** *** *** ***

After arriving home on Saturday night, Kurapica fell asleep immediately on the couch, having been too tired to walk all the way to her bedroom. 

_Leorio. In a tuxedo. Kurapica smiled. Their wedding day. She was dressed in a sleeveless white gown. Carrying a bundle of fragrant pink roses, she stepped down the aisle to the altar._   
_ Catching sight of Machi and Senritsu, Kurapica winked. There were so many people here. Everyone she'd ever known. Other faces were unfamiliar, so she supposed they were the people Leorio had invited._   
_ Sitting in the fifth and sixth rows with Machi and Senritsu were the kids. Gon, Killua, Neon and Kuroro, Shizuku, all of them._   
_ About four feet from the altar, Kurapica caught sight of a red-haired man. Hisoka! But what was he doing here...?_

*** *** *** *** 

**Princess Floréa: **Now, _that's_ short.   
**Kurapika-sama: **%?   
**Princess Floréa: **SICKO!!! *backs away to the corner of the room**accidentally steps on Kuroro-sama*   
**Kuroro-sama: **x.X   
**Princess Floréa: **Aww... I vewy sowwy... *glomps Kuroro-sama**looks away with an evil glare*   
**Kuroro-sama: **X.x *turning blue*   
**Floraleon:** *rolls eyes* All you owners glomp that doll like this, glomp yo' dollies, don't stop, don't quit... 


	8. The Intruder

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Eight: The Intruder_   
*** *** *** ***

_ All thoughts about the red-haired man faded away as Leorio embraced her..._   
_ What? _Kurapica groggily opened her eyes. What was she doing in her bed? Hadn't she fallen asleep on the sofa...? As far as she knew, she wasn't one to sleep walk...   
_ Someone was in this house with her._   
"Leorio?" She called out.   
Something stirred beside her. "What about him?"   
Kurapica froze. "Who is it?" An arm wrapped around her, it's tight grip making it impossible for her to move.   
"You don't recognize your _next-door neighbor_?" The body shifted again, dropping it's weight onto her.   
"Hisoka?" She gasped, "_Get off me!_"   
Pushing him away wouldn't work; he was too strong. "What did you do to Leorio?!"   
She was sure he was laughing at her right now. "Oh, he went where all good little boys go." _So casual._   
"Why?"   
"You know what? They say all life's questions are answered in death. You can ask hem when you get there."   
With all the force she could muster, Kurapica wriggled out from under him and ran for it.   
She never got to the door before she crumpled and fell. 

*** *** *** *** **Princess Floréa: **Kurapica did not die. I'll tell you that.   
**Floraleon:** ...   
**Kurapika-sama: **I'm traumatized!   
**Floraleon:** You don't look it.   
**Kurapika-sama: ***shrugs* I wanted to see what it was like, saying that.   
**Princess Floréa: **Okay...   
**Kurapika-sama: **You know what? I need a girl.   
**Princess Floréa and Floraleon: **...   
**Kurapika-sama: ***starts singing* I need a girl, to be my wife, I need a girl, she's all mine, I need a girl, in my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife...   
**Floraleon: **I wonder if he'll ever get one... *sweatdrops* 


	9. The Closet

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Nine: The Closet_   
*** *** *** ***

Kurapica sat up groggily, blinking her eyes in the darkness and wincing at the pain when she tried to move her neck. She shifted her feet and started when they kicked something. _It can't be Hisoka. Not in this place. Come to think of it, where am I?_   
Standing up on wobbly legs, she found the light switch. Pulling the chain, the lightbulb clicked on and it's dim light bathed her surroundings in yellow.   
Looking around, Kurapica almost fainted in shock. The thing that she'd kicked lay in front of her. It was Leorio. His corpse. She stared at it numbly, not noticing the tears streaming down her face. How long had he been there, shut up in a dark closet?   
Kurapica snapped the light off, and sat on the floor of the closet, holding the body of her lost lover, and cried herself to sleep. 

***

She woke up, hours later. Deciding to get out of the horrid place, she turned the knob on the door. It didn't budge. She threw herself against it, ending up with a sore shoulder. Turning the knob again, it finally moved.   
And came off in her hand.   
Kurapica hurled the knob at the back of the closet in frustration.   
It didn't land.   
Curious to find out why, she crept to the back.   
Then she fell. 

*** *** *** ***

**Princess Floréa:** Sorry, but that's short, too.   
**Floraleon:** But we found out what happened to Leorio.   
**Kurapika-sama: **What happened?   
**Floraleon:** Reread it, you dumbass!!!   
**Princess Floréa:** Everyone thinks I'm crazy now...   
**Kurapika-sama:** Oh, but you are.   
**Princess Floréa:** Shaddup. Because I went around asking, "If you throw a dead guy into a closet, how long does it take for him to decompose?" 'Cause I didn't want him to disintegrate before the story ended...   
**Kurapika-sama: ***sweatdrop* ... 


	10. The Fall

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Ten: The Fall_   
*** *** *** ***

To make a long story short short, she fell out of the closet. 

*** *** *** *** **Kurapika-sama:** That's not a chapter. *starts dancing on the keyboard*   


sdfafagfg 

**Floraleon:** dafwer9r892jfm sfmlksix+¥kjgksjg   
sfjakfljajfak:afhihajhffn vfkajjwjfijfjwijfijjfannn wj   
ÖÇ45678bnhj 

_Princess Florea: aajfkjafjalfj_ Okay, where were we?   
**Floraleon:** Why did you make this chapter so short?   
**Princess Floréa:** *shrugs*   
**Kurapika-sama:** Hey, lemme go!!!   
**Floraleon:** *shrugs* Tell her that.   
**Princess Floréa:** *smiles innocently* 


	11. The Walk

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Eleven: The Walk_   
*** *** *** ***

Kurapica fell. Quite a long way. _Seems like eternity._ And then she landed, rear-first. Hard.   
_ Ouch. Concrete floor. Concrete...? Someone's been down here..._   
She felt in the dark and found a wall. Following it, she wondered if whe'd ever see daylight again. Just as her hopes were diminishing, she tripped over something. _A ladder._   
Climbing up it, she opened the hatch at the top, and nearly fell off. It was the tile in her kitchen. The one that she'd kept tripping over. Kurapica was about to climb out, but stopped when she heard the phone ring. And someone picked it up.   
Hastily shutting the trapdoor, she scrambled down the ladder and returned to groping around the walls. 

***   
_[Time Lapse]_   
***

_ How long's it been? _She ran smack into a wall. Finding a ladder like the first, Kurapica shimmied up in a hurry. Opening another door, she looked around. A little dirty, but there were voices. And light. It seemed okay, so she crawled out. 

*** *** *** ***

**Princess Floréa: **I'm very sorry for the short chapters.   
**Kurapika-sama: **You should be.   
**Princess Floréa:** ...#...   
**Kurapika-sama:** ...%...   
**Princess Floréa: **That's it...   
**Floraleon:** *watching Princess Floréa give Kurapika-sama a Mega Noogie* We have two more chapters to go.Y'know, thirteen? It's a so-called Halloween fling, but would you really call this horror?   
**Kurapika-sama: **Someone have mercy on me!!!   
**Floraleon: ***whistles I'm Cleaning out My Closet*   
**Kurapika-sama: **Please?   
**Floraleon:** Review if ya want Princess F to let 'im go. If ya don' wanna... review anyways.   
**Princess Floréa:** And if ya wanna screw him, be my guest. (Though the thought clearly sickens me..) 


	12. The Arrest

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Twelve: The Arrest_   
*** *** *** ***

Into a small room with a small cot and a sink. Of all places, a _jail cell_. Thank the Lord it was empty. The door was locked, so she decided to find another way out. But before Kurapica could reopen the trap door, she heard a click and a certain red-headed man fell inside the room. "Man, that purple-haired chick was _hot_..." he muttered as the door slammed shut behind him. Looking up, he saw the fearful face of—   
Kurapica. Hisoka grinned. An evil grin. "So what have we here?"   
A lump formed in her throat. "Stay away from me," Kurapica said in a hoarse voice, "And don't you _dare_—"   
The door was flung open again."Okay, Mister, we have some questions for ya." A blue-uniformed officer stood in the doorway. "So would ya please come along?"   
Hisoka reluctantly turned away from Kurapica to go, like a buzzard being shooed away from its carrion. Only then did the officer happen to notice the second captive. 

*** *** *** *** **Princess Floréa: **Yeah, bad place to stop, but I have absolutely no idea what goes around in jails.   
**Kurapika-sama:** I do.   
**Floraleon: ***mutters* I can see why...   
**Kurapika-sama:** *glare* What did you say?   
_{cat fight}_   
**Floraleon: **Mrowwwww!!!   
**Kurapika-sama:** Rowrrrrrrrrrr...   
**Princess Floréa:** *sweatdrops* Okay... Well, according to STATS, this story counts as getting more reviews than _Death Angel_. _Death Angel_ didn't quite count because 1> I reviewed it, and 2> I put in an extra fling, Dear Diary. So I guess I'm Cleaning Out My Closet seems to have been the most popular so far with the peanut gallery. *gets pelted with popcorn* I SAID _PEANUT_, NOT POPCORN, YOU IDIOTS!!!   
**???: **Oops... 


	13. The End and the Beginning

*** *** *** ***   
**I'm Cleaning Out My Closet**   
_Chapter Thirteen: The End and the Beginning_   
*** *** *** ***

Kurapica stepped into the waves once more. The setting sun cast its last warm rays towards her and the ocean winds fanned her face.   
Wading in deeper, she realized how much the sunset symbolized her life these last few days. It was the end of her days with Leorio, "But the rising sun will be a day without him." She said out loud. "It will be the beginning of my new day; my new life."   
As if in response, the sun dipped below the horizon.   
The silvery sliver of a moon rose in its place, and the stars awakened.   
Kurapica stood in the ocean, under the darkening sky. Alone in the night. 

_"Alone in the night,_   
_The loved one's flight._   
_Don't stand waiting,_   
_Hesitant and debating._   
_Come to me;_   
_Come with me._   
_The sun will set, the moon will rise,_   
_And the shining stars will pass your eyes._   
_Come._   
_And we will be alone._   
_Alone in the night."_

*** *** *** *** **Princess Floréa:** *cries into Kurapika-sama's tunic*   
**Kurapika-sama: **...   
**Princess Floréa:** I know... our little show is longer than the last chapter today... 

***

**Floraleon:** Okay... now for all them peeps who are confuzzled, we'll explain what exactly it meant when we say "___-sama".   
**Princess Floréa:** Take Kurapika-sama here for example. He is _not_ the _real_ Kurapika. Y'know, the really _hot_ one.   
**Kurapika-sama: **Hey!   
**Princess Floréa:** It's true. Well, you can read my explanation, or you can read _Two Guys, Four Girls, and a Portal_ to figure it out yourself.   
**Floraleon: **We call these things—   
**Kurapika-sama:** I am _not_ a thing!!!   
**Floraleon: **—"Sama-dolls." Basically they're chibi versions of characters from wherever, plus wings which they can't fly with, and different personalities.   
**Princess Floréa:** See, like Kurapika-sama here is quite perverted, not like the _hottie_*starry eyes*. And Kuroro-sama over there is quite timid. Killua-sama is fairygurl's, and he gets words mixed up and so.   
**Floraleon: **Anybody remember Jounouchi-sama? Well, we have _more_ Sama-dolls lined up for the show. Here are some of them: 

**List of Sama-Dolls to Reappear:**   
* Kurapika-sama (Pii-chan)   
* Killua-sama (Lulu-chan)   
* Kuroro-sama (Rory-chan)   
* Jounouchi-sama (Joey-chan)   
**List of Sama-Dolls to Appear:**   
* Leorio-sama (YoYo-chan)   
* Hisoka-sama (Hissy-chan)   
* Gon-sama (Gonny-chan)   
* Machi-sama 

**Princess Floréa: **If you wanna adopt a Sama-Doll, please tell me, OK? If you want Kuroro-sama, just ask. Just to say, Machi-sama ain't goin' nowhere, and I'm pretty damn sure fairygurl wants Leorio-sama...   
**Floraleon: **I think that's it.   
**Kurapika-sama: **Bye-bye. *turns off the lights*   
**???:** Oh, boy...   
**???:** Here we go again...   
**???:** TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTIN' OFF AGAIN!!! 

**_>BaM!_**   
**_>CrAsH!_**

**???:** YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT HOLE IN THE WALL!!!   
**???: **Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! 


End file.
